Problems are a sign of life, and work of course. If you’re a leader or in a position of responsibility, you’ll probably have more problems than most! Be that a team leader, parent, CEO, HR director, business owner and so on.
I’d like to offer you 5 questions that you can ask yourself to help you work through your problems.
1) What is great about this right now?
This might seem like an odd question. You might be saying “Well, nothing is great. That’s why I’ve got the problem!”
I would say that by asking this question it forces you to take a different position and perhaps find out what is great. If the problem is that you have just been told your deadline for a project has been halved, what might be great about that problem. Perhaps it will give you the opportunity to be more creative, spend more money, hire more people, go on that holiday or to that wedding (that you were going to have to miss because of the release date). I don’t know what it is, but neither will you if you don’t at least ask the question.
Remember, you brain is like Google and whatever questions you ask of it, your unconscious mind (like Google) will help you find the answers.
Let’s take the example of being distracted by social media / internet (and I recognise the irony that you are reading this because of social media! But thank you for taking the time). What is great is that I recognise I need to change something. I am getting bogged down by social feeds before I’ve done my most important tasks for the day. It’s great I realise this now, and not in 5 years time!
2) What is not perfect about it, yet?
This is a cunning question because it helps direct your mind to find out what you would need to do to make things perfect and it also (by use of the word “yet”) implies that it will be perfect at some point in the future.
What’s not perfect about my situation is that I have the habit and temptation to look at Facebook too early in the day. What’s not perfect is that I don’t delay looking at Facebook until 12pm….YET! But I will (and actually, currently I do. Part of a commitment I’ve made to myself for lent.)
3) What am I willing to change to make it the way I want it?
This is start to drive your unconscious mind to find solutions to your problem. Recognising that you also have the power to change something in your area of influence.
I’ve changed how my browser operates (for Facebook) with certain tools to restrict me or offer a mindful reminder as to whether I should be checking at all. I’m also willing to change how I start my day and whether or not I’m prepared to get back to people messaging me on Facebook.
4) What am I no longer willing to do, in order to make it the way I want?
What are you going to stop doing, so that you can solve this problem. Perhaps you’ve spent too long wasting time on some app or website, or you are getting bogged down in email first thing.
So for me, I am no longer willing to check Facebook before 12pm each day. I’m also no longer willing to be subject to the demands of other people’s lives (i.e. checking other people’s fabulous lives in their status updates!)
5) How can I make the changes and enjoy the process at the same time?
This is important as for you to really accept the change you have to enjoy the process. Again, the Google mind will go off and search for the solutions which will allow you to enjoy the process.
For me, I focus on the fact that by not checking Facebook before 12pm I feel better knowing I’ve accomplished more. And nay implementing little hacks and tools makes the process less about will power and more about being mindful and so I know that it’s strengthening my present moment awareness. For you, you’ll have to work out what changes will enable you to enjoy the process.
I hope that makes sense. The key thing to remember is that your mind can be your master or your minion. If you ask it intelligent questions, you will let it be your minion and do your bidding. If you ask dis-empowering questions your mind will master you.
You choose.
What do you think about this? Comment below.
